DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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