bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She bit a glass in half.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
