definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
