i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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