I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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