ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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