i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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