White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Randomize
