the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
