Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
