shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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