Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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