Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
