Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i've created a new STD.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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