im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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