Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize