sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
