So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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