Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
