Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
