How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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