so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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