2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im drinking this country out of the recession.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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