Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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