I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize