i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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