So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
