bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
