Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize