My brain says no but my pants say off.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She bit a glass in half.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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