i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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