its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
