Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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