I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize