I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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