your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
