her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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