i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
