Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
