We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
