I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
