come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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