There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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