she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
