Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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