I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
