I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
