turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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