I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize