I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
