dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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