One girl and one boy is just not enough.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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