garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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