Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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