omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Enjoy the penises
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
