i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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