Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
