You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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