I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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