Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate your face
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize