I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
