The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
