i don't like sucking hair
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
