Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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