Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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