He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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