I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
