I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
