i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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