dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
