Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
