My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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